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I exist. - .Laugh At The Ruins.

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January 24th, 2006


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01:51 pm - I exist.
I haven't exactly been great at documenting my life online since high school, still I figured I'd give it one more go before the blow.
Let's start with a brief history from this past year.
Then we'll move on from there.

In 2005 I:

  • Fell in Love.
  • Moved out of my Mother's house to Ellicott City with Jackie in February
  • Worked at Hecht's, Frank's Diner Shell, a Piercing Kiosk, Normandy Health & Fitness, SafeWay.
  • Turned 19.
  • Got assaulted three days later.
  •  Had a horrible time managing finances.
  • Moved back to my Mother's in June.
  •  Fell a little Harder.
  • Got engaged on Independence Day.
  • Moved to Washington, DC with Jessica.
  • Worked for PIRG, Whole Foods, ICM.
  • Lived in a complete mess.
  • Shared small fries with jess because we were so broke.
  • Fell short.
  •  Reunited with Jackie in NYC.
  • Lost my mind.
  • Sat in the back of a paddy wagon.
  • Spent a month away.
  • Came back.
  • Gushed all over my love.
  •  Attempted to fix it all in NYC on Thanksgiving.
  • Held HER & cried.
  •  Lost our home on 301 G St SW.
  • Cried without her.
  •  Learned to comfort myself.
  • Burned and got burned.
So there we go.
Tonight I'm moving to Baltimore City to hopefully start a healthier life. My lesson is well learned, no matter how much in love you are, you can't let it dominate your everything. I am determined to be self sufficient from now on. I'm just laying out my options and since I'm young, I think I'll start doing everything I have ever wanted to do. I want to go down every path in front of me, untill I have finally reached a complete euphoric state. Contrary to popular belief, I do not need anyone holding my hand to achieve this. I'm not saying that I am going to remain single until the day I die, I'll just keep my romantic relationships at a safe distance. A single woman will never be in my top five priority list or "my other half".  I would rather have an army to fall back on rather than an angel to take me so high that I forget that anything else exists. That just makes me want to puke all over a really expensive white dress.


Current Mood: numbnumb
Current Music: Melissa Etheridge - American Dream

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